Conference update: Brandon did not win the nano, but he did win a gift card for a restaurant, so we went tonight and it was ok. I certainly wouldn't spend my own money there, and I would back off the cocktail sauce on the oyster shooters. But all in all it was fun to be the only people at the bar with cokes.
Spider story: I usually stay up really late, really late. Mostly cuz I don't sleep well, hence my blog entries and weird times in the night. One night I was reading while laying on my stomach when out of the corner of my eye I noticed small movement. Much to my horror a large-ish (by my standards) spider was making its way from behind the mattress. Like a horror movie. It noticed me and I noticed it and we had a brief but tense moment as we stared at each other. Then eye contact was broken and the fiend tried to escape by scurrying past my book, which was met by a shriek by me. If you remotely know me you will agree that I'm not a shrieker. Sure, I may yell at Brandon from time to time or scream at a fellow driver, but I do not shriek. Sadly, Brandon was asleep for my shrieking debut, that is until the shriek, when he woke with a start. What happens next took place in about 10 seconds.
"Brandon! Kill it!" But before I knew it Brandon had instinctively run to the bedroom door thinking someone had broken into our place. Then he turned, bewildered and drowsy, and saw me staring down at the mattress and realized it must be a spider that spooked me. Meanwhile, back on the mattress, I felt Brandon get up and run away and thought, "Great, no help." All the commotion had caused the spider to stop and reconsider its route to safety, which led to another tense moment between us. Quickly I decided action must be taken, I grabbed my book, announced my battle cry and started hacking at the spider with my book.
"Die!Die!Die! You damn fiend! Die!!" I hacked with vigor. The poor thing didn't know what hit it. It was dismembered after about the third "Die!" but adrenaline kept me going through a few more hacks. When the 10 second scene was over Brandon had gone to the bathroom for toilet paper for clean-up of the carcass and I was left with a dirty book, the hair of a maniac and a crazed look in my eye. We must have looked like a murdering duo out of a horror movie for spiders.
"Geez Nat, I thought someone had broken into the house. You scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry..."
2 comments:
I'll have you know that your blog has prevented me from watching general conference. Of course, Evan wanted to know why I was laughing so hard, so I had to read it to him and therefore missed twice as much...it's all your fault. I think the spider story was so funny because I could picture both of you so perfectly...Brandon in his underwear, dazed, but ready to protect his castle and queen; and you swearing in vain at a poor defenseless spider. I used to think you were tough. I was sadly mistaken. Shrieking is almost as bad as the "footloose" moment on HSM2. Almost. So, did that talk about mothers this morning make you want to get preggo? If not, maybe you should listen to it again.
This cracked me up. I LOVE the way you tell stories. Maybe you should become a storyteller on the streets of San Diego. I would come and listen, and perhaps even drop a dollar in your hat.
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