End of Cold War

Two bearded super-powers have finally collided. Santa Claus and Maggie. Last week I took Maggie to get her picture taken with Santa. There was initial tension as both parties eyed each other with curiosity and contempt but in the end an amicable agreement was made. Much like the Gorbachev v. Reagan summits at the UN. The result follows.

Some people might think that it's a silly waste of time to pay $9 to have your dog take a picture with Santa Claus. Well I say screw you. Five those dollars went to charity and I got a cute frame.

 

Racism: The World's Oldest Companion

I heard that prostitution was the oldest career in the world once, so at least prostitutes have a claim to fame.

This past weekend was spent in LA, land of my youth. My dad's birthday was the 1st but we couldn't go so it was celebrated on the 8th. And for it, out came the "LA characters" as I like to call them. Ever since I could remember my parents have entertained fun and interesting people. Fine by me, being an only child amongst adults with no children made it so that I was given a very rounded and diversified view of the world. I've known these people since forever. They're family.

There's Rudolf, the racist Romanian.
"Thees Koreans, thees are veird guys. Everee time I drive through Koreatown, sometheeng happens. I tell you, thees are vierd guys. They always keelling each other, eating dogs... Veird guys..."
He's really a good guy, just particular about his views of Koreans. He's had an interesting life, having to escape Communist Romania, being forced to join the Israeli army at 29, migrating to Germany, 8 months in Greece, and finally New York. Eventually he made it to LA where he works designing my dad's new line of jewelry. He calls me "baby" (in a paternal sense).

Leah, his wife.
"I veel argue for hours, vhether or not extraterrestrials exist. Of course they do!"
And she will. Leah has two volumes, loud and louder. She makes my mom look tame. She works for Baby Phat, as a programmer. But she makes the best cookies ever. Period. She's gotten so famous that every year she has to make about 2,000 to fill the order of people begging her to send them some. After much begging this year, I get my own batch! She and Rudolf speak 4 languages fluently.

Bruno, the slick one.
"Let me tell you guy, these new Rolex, out of this world."
No one really knows much about Bruno except that he likes the finer foods in life like wine, cheese, balsamic and anything ethnic. Come to think of it, Bruno has a lot to do with the way I eat. Forever introducing me to new restaurants Downtown. He and my dad have been friends 35 years and I've known him my whole life, and no one has ever seen his supposed wife. He works with my dad as sort of editor for Rudolf's designs, and the diamond guy. But man, he's slick.

Zared, the transcendentalist (and the only white one).
Zareb is actually my mom's friend. He's the newest in the fold. Zareb is his chosen name, I don't know what the real one is. He's actually LDS, he just doesn't know it yet. He believes everything we do, just adds on reincarnation and some other beliefs. He's a really cool guy and my mom's guru. Easily the easiest to like.

I've learned a lot over the years from these people. When you get them together it makes for a really fun night. I really admire how after hardships like divorce, separations, death of children, and economic difficulty, they can still smile. We all get together and have a really good time. Like time has never passed, nothing bad has happened and we all saw each other yesterday.

Not my best idea.

So. I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people that all only blog about their children, but this one is necessary.

Ok, so since we got Maggie we've been living at PetSmart. We always need something more, if it's not this it's that. So I decided to ask how much the Salon at PetSmart is. $37 for trim and $47 for a cut for a Wheaten. Not too bad for the sake of convenience. I'm already having to brush her all the time, I don't want to cut her hair. That is, until I saw the PetSmart Christmas flier. On one side it details information about when Santa is coming to PetSmart (and you better believe I'm taking Maggie) and the other side is a coupon for a bath, cut, little bow, and even a tooth cleaning. So that sounded like a good deal. Except took a closer look at the dog in the coupon picture and realized that that hideously cut, rather butchered, dog was a Wheaten. Then and there I resolved never to let PetSmart Salon get within 20 feet of my dog. We've been called elitist because we're so particular about Maggie's appearance. And yes, we may or may not ridicule the Wheaten down the street because it looks like a modified lemur but we are good dog parents and want Maggie to look her best. It's the same reason parents comb their child's hair before they go to school. Good grooming is important.

Except that's not the worst part. The worst part is I decided to cut her hair myself. I read the SCWT website about hair cuts. I even read the Wheaten owner's manual thingie about hair cuts. I was ready. Except I wasn't. And what has resulted (two hours later) is a slightly butchered dog. However, I'm proud to say that her face still looks like a Wheaten. And damn it! That's the most important part.

Maggie post trimming odyssey.