Cat Clip Thing: Tragedy in One Act

Wherefore hast thou forsaken me, Cat Clip Thing? Thy sweet metal curve no longer hugs my keys nor allows me hang them from my purse. Mine purse is shambles without thee.

I rather not live, not drive, not have a house key than to navigate all these worlds without thee. For thy services kept me sane.

And scene.

Wheatens A-Go-Go

It's been a while since I posted about my Maggie so I thought I would.
First we went to a dog show to commemorate her Wheateness. The theme of the Wheaten ring was "My Wheaten, My Hero." Not sure who came up with that name but I know that I love my magnet with a flying Wheaten. Complete with cape.

My Maggie, my hero


I don't want to be telling tales from school, but there was a dyed Wheaten in this group. I don't know who that lady thought she was fooling. You can't tell now, but it looked like the poor dog had rolled around in tomato juice.

Then, thanks to the economic downturn we decided that we were going to clip Maggie at home because I was done paying more for my dog's haircut than my own. Besides it's just too hot to keep Maggie with long hair. Here is documentation:

"More over, let me do it." I told Brandon.

Sometimes I just need to be patient

Here is Brandon documenting my incompetence for Children's Services. Maggie started shaking her head and blood went flying everywhere. Turns out I had cut her ear. Thankfully it wasn't a huge deal and she quickly forgot about it.


The carnage.

We love our Magpie. And even though she looks like a weed-wacker cut her hair, she's the cutest, softest, gentlest and all around bestest dog ever.

Go Me!

Congratulating myself for no reason in particular is one of my favorite things to do. And what better day to do that than on your birthday?
I have to say that this birthday was one of my favorites ever. It started with a lazy morning of laying around and watching daytime TV (Brandon and I both took the day off - a tradition I think we should keep)followed by lunch at Cuatro Milpas (where does awesome Mexican food live? Why, the ghetto of course).

Then we went to the Wild Animal park where we scheduled a tour to feed animals. We were the only ones to sign up at that time so we had all the food to ourselves (meaning more one-on-one time with the animals) and the tour guide had all sorts of great stories to share. It was way awesome. Best birthday ever.

Sadly we forgot our camera so what you're seeing is from a disposable one. And unfortunately I'm too lazy to get the picture of me in front of Cuatro Milpas from Brandon's phone.


One of the first things we did was feed the geese. The food was actually for the ducks, but the geese were very persistent and eventually decided that only my jeans would do. It was really fun playing chicken with geese. I'll be damned if I let a goose intimidate me.


As soon as we got to the park Brandon made a beeline to the remote control boats. It was on our way to these that we encountered the geese. Brandon is a great boat driver, he event went through a tunnel in reverse. Which is actually what he did on a real boat this 4th of July weekend. Hmm... life imitating remote control things.


This is where the fun got started. Actually the fun had been going on for about an hour before we got to the rhinos. We got to see so many awesome animals living in harmony just doing their own quirky things. Like these african deer making broken dishwasher noises. And it was lambing season for the mountain sheep so we got to see lots a little lambs. It's just so amazing how many awesome creatures Heavenly Father made, each with a purpose and each with so many amazing qualities. I was ready to sign up for a conservation job at the park right then and there.


See my shoe on the lower left? That was to become this rhino's next snack. It didn't hurt or anything to have her chomping on it, but I felt a little picked on.


About a second after this picture was taken this giraffe licked me. Giraffes are the only mammals with black tongues. Not sure why their tongues need to be black, but whatever. They were so breath-taking. Sadly, I saw more than one disappointed giraffe because they weren't getting any food. We weren't allowed to feed them apples because they get drunk on them (interesting fact: apple alcohol is incredibly strong. most pubs won't sell it in England and it's what inmates make from their lunch apples). But it wouldn't have mattered because the gluttonous rhinos ate them all. Fatsos.

Here's to great birthdays with the people you love, with great food and appreciating the most basic and incredible creations this world has to offer,

Pregnancy Don'ts

(This was taken on my birthday in early June. I'm bigger now. Eek!)

If you know someone who is pregnant please refrain from saying/asking the following (at least to her face):

1. "Is that your third helping of salad?!" - Really? You're going to give me crap over eating more salad? So what if it is? The growing human in your abdominal cavity is making it hard for any organs to survive. Less room means a stomach that gets full faster, which means lots of helpings just to get the right amount of nutrition.
More sensitive alternative: "Can you get me another soda while you're up?"

2. "Did you throw up a lot?" - What a weird question, and is it really one you want to know the answer to? I think not. Besides not everyone is deathly ill whilst with child.
More sensitive alternative: "How are you feeling?"

3. "Wow, you're bigger than I was at 6 months." - Thanks/Sorry/Congratulations? What the hell do you say to this? When faced with this comment all I could do was smile in horror - much like that smile you plaster on your face when you've just realized you're talking to a psychopath and you don't want to piss them off as your frantically looking for the nearest exit. My original idea for this post was to complain when people say, "Wow you're so big!" But that comment seems like small potatoes compared to this comment I received over the weekend.
More sensitive alternative: Anything, it really can't get worse than this. Lie if you have to.

4. "Can I touch your belly?" - I appreciate that you asked as opposed to the others that don't even have that common decency, but I'm afraid that answer is still no.
More sensitive alternative: Keep your hands to yourself.

5. "Are you excited?" - Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. Do you really want to hear about how this is an unwanted pregnancy from a druggie father who has ODed and I wish I were dead because my parents kicked me out? No one does.
More sensitive alternative: "I'm really happy for you."

6. "That's nothing! Wait until the baby comes." I realize this is meant to be helpful, but it's really not. What do people expect? That when the baby gets here I'll come crawling to them and say, "Sen-sei, you were right! Impart more of your wisdom on me?" Duh, babies make parents tired. And then what? The world goes on.
More sensitive alternative: "Let me know if I can babysit."

I'm really grateful for these comments that I've come across because they've helped me become more aware of what I say to people. NOT an easy task. Though slightly annoying, they've been a good lesson in humility. Let's see how well I do when encountered with another pregnant person.