Adventures in Anger Management: Episode 1

Brandon looking down at the trash can lid in the dining area.

B: Why is this trash can lid in the dining area?

N: Well, I was mad so I ripped the lid off the trash can then when I tried to put it back on and couldn't, I got mad again and threw it. I can't remember why I was mad in the first place though....

Stay tuned for more Adventures in Anger Management...ent...ent...ent!!!

Approaching Departure

It's hard to believe that our time in Boston is coming to an end. It took us a while to warm up to Boston but that's only because we were coming from Ithaca and in our minds, Ithaca is a little slice of rural hippie heaven. So really, the best kind.

In the end though, Boston has been really fun and I've enjoyed being surrounded by such intense American history. There is really no escaping it around here. Unfortunately, it's kind of confusing to be surrounded by so many Tea Party things because you always have to think twice about whether it's the Boston or the Sarah Palin kind.

Boston Summary (thus far):

1. Everything looks really colonial and thus bricky brown. It's cool but then gets kind of old.

2. The Charles River is stinky, but it makes for a scenic city.

3. Driving here is confusing and crazy. You know those pictures of New York City at the turn of last century where there aren't any dividing lines between lanes? That's what the Boston suburbs are like.

4. Food here has been great. Yay!

5. The people are really ballsy and straight-forward and pretty great.

6. There are A TON of universities here, which have been fun to discover.

7. Beaches around here are surprisingly pretty. But you have to pay for them to get on, which is weird. Didn't stop us from being frequent visitors.

8. Fenway is one of the last surviving old-school stadiums.

9. Museum of Fine Arts is truly fantastic.

10. Tom Brady is within driving distance.

Old State House - Revolution movement began here

Faneuil Hall

Ellie in our Waltham pad.

Ellie waiting for Dad to come down from his office.

Kayaking the Charles

Pre-kayaking the Charles

MIT from the river.

The Democratic Donkey

Granary Burying Ground - I think one of my favorite parts about MA have been the cemetaries.

Hanging out at Cape Anne.

More sand fun.

Brandon likes to think that people actually believe he's the Stig. I kind of hope he is because that would be really hot.

At Franklin Park Zoo. Least human-friendly zoo I have ever been to, but Ellie LOVED the goats so it was worth it.

New England Aquarium.

Plymouth Rock. Not as glamorous as it sounds. It is in fact, a rock.

Boston Harbor.

Ellie being a knight in glittery armor at the Children's Museum.

Old State House again, this time on the side where the Boston Massacre happened. My hair is in mourning.

Ellie telling Harvard what she thinks of it. Go Cornell!

In Summary

I don’t love posting pictures. It’s just an ache. I believe a good story is worth a thousand pictures. And a good argument is worth a million.

I recently came back from a trip to California to go visit my family. And by “visit” I mean be forgotten while my parents fawn over Ellie. And by “parents”, I mean the loveable loons I lived with before realizing that people actually used dishwashers to wash dishes, not just to hold the dishes that didn’t fit in the regular cupboards.

I could post pictures. However, they would all be the same inane variation of adult smiling and holding Ellie. Or Ellie at the beach. Or Ellie chasing one of the Trejo cats or Jacobsen dogs. Or Ellie smearing food on her face. But aren’t we all a little tired of Ellie?

Instead, I thought I would recreate my favorite conversation from my two weeks in California to give you a taste of the kind of thing that a picture just can’t.

During our breakfast preparations:

Ellie sits in the background happily dipping something in syrup and nursing a black eye.

“MOM! I said no beans!” I yelled.

“Oh, I heard “yes” on the beans. Where is your dad? Eduardo. Eduardo! EDUARDO!!! BREAKFAST!!!” You do not want to make this woman wait after a meal has been served.

“MOM! Ugh! You’re deaf. And if he’s not answering it’s because he can’t hear you. Duh.”

“If no one can be nice then don’t say anything at all. EDUARDO! EDUARDO!!”

“MOM!! SHUT UP!”

“You shut up. There you are! I was calling and calling and calling! What part of breakfast do you not understand? You’re making us all wait. We’re ready to eat.”

My dad is stumbling out of the hall, “I was in the bathroom.”

My mom rolls her eyes, “Surprise. Natalia, do you want salsa?”

“Yes, but I can do it myself, Mom, it’s ok. I’m not Dad.” I reply briskly.

Dad gets up to leave as he has been offended.

Mom is in what I like to call, General mode, “Sit down and EAT! What did I tell you about being nice?”

“Where is my lemonade?” my dad sulks.

“In the fridge. Get it yourself. Please.” replies the General.

“I tried, but it’s all the way at the back.”

“So?” asks the General, knowing full well what his answer is going to be. Even Ellie knows.

“I can’t reach it. It’s like, WAY in the back.”

“Ok. Sit down and I’ll reach it for you, little prince.” The General has quickly dissolved back into my mom. Somehow she can see my dad’s calculated uselessness as endearing - I think it’s because she knows he really would starve without her.

“All you two do is pick on me. I don’t have a fork.” Dad sulks hopefully. He knows that if he looks pitiful enough someone will get up and get him a fork. He’s so hunched over his eggs he looks like Eeyore. I get up, get one and hand it to him and he cheerfully starts eating.

Finally we all sit down and officially start breakfast.

My mom starts in again with her Anger Book doctrine. The same book I received as my Mother’s Day gift. “I know we all said things we regret, but I really feel that as a family we must pull together and learn to love and forgive one another. My anger book says…”

“BOOH!!” My dad and I yell. We are both SO tired of hearing about the Anger Book this, the Anger Book that. I’m just waiting for the Anger Book to have an opinion on how much I eat. And then it’s getting burned.

“MY ANGER BOOK says,” my mom continues, “that sometimes we say things that hurt just because we don’t know any better.

“I’m pretty sure I know better,” I reply.

“Me too.” My dad chimes in.

“No you don’t. You’re both Neanderthals.” And with that my mom continues to indoctrinate us on the Anger Book.

I think the best/worst part about my little family is that we’re all straight-shooters. Very little gets held back, and while feelings can get hurt, at least we all know where we stand. We’re total warfare kind of people. Burn the place before asking questions then assess the damage and ask forgiveness later. It’s not a perfect model and it requires all participants to be entirely on board but it works for us. And if it makes you feel any better, as evidenced above, my mom is trying to make us change.

Here’s the thing. I LOVE my parents. I complain about them all the time (often to my in-laws) and my parents complain about me (often to my in-laws) but that’s just the way we work. We know that at the end of the day you get a good night kiss and an assurance that everything is going to be ok. That you are appreciated, and while you looked a little fat in that shirt and your hair was just not working today, you are loved.

You are loved.

Hypochondriac Much?

I talk to my mom pretty often. Well, she talks to me. If you've met my mom you know that it's hard to get a word in edgewise. A lot of our "conversations" revolve around what illnesses/psychological problems she thinks I'm suffering that week. For example:

-depression

-fibromyalgia

-sleep apnea

-poor nutrient absorption

-anemia

-hypoglycemia

-assorted bowel problems

Rest assured, I don't suffer from any of these issues. I had anemia when I was pregnant, but I was able to shake it after Ellie was born.

Most recently she has decided that I have anger problems. She mentioned that she bought me a book about anger management for Mother's Day.

"But I don't have anger problems. "
"Yes, you do, that's where your depression comes from."

"But I'm not depressed."

"You are, you just don't know it."

"Mom, I've gotta go, we'll talk later."

Having this conversation made my blood boil just a little bit and it took all my self-control to hang up the phone in a civilized manner. Proving her right. And if there is one thing I absolutely abhor with my whole soul, it's proving my mother right.

I wonder if Ellie will feel the same way about me.

The Communal Fridge

Those of you who know me (which I assume is the only reason you're doing me a favor and reading this) will not be shocked to hear I love food. Not news, a lot of people love food. But I love food like musicians love music, like bees love to pollinate, like politicians love to lie. In other words, I can't help myself. And I just want to share that love and spread happy tummy feelings all over the world. So this is the beginning of the happy tummy goal. I may only help one person with one stomach (oh, that we could be cows!) but if it means that one person is happier during a meal then my job is done.

Presenting...The Communal Fridge!

Yup, I have started a food blog. Tell your friends, neighbors, family, frenemies and cohorts. I promise good food. Food that will make you feel comfortable and full and satisfied. Sometimes it'll be fancy, sometimes not. Sometimes it'll be healthy, sometimes not so much. Sometimes it'll take a little prep, sometimes it'll be super fast. But it will always be homemade and it will be tried and tested.

In my dreams this will be a blog that you come to as a resource. That will TEACH you, not just preach. Hopefully after reading a few posts you'll be riffing on the recipes, evolving them to make them your own, to suit your and your family's tastes (and what's in your fridge). Hopefully it'll make your life easier - while always keep quality at the forefront. Hopefully it'll be a place where we can trade ideas.

I recently learned that reptiles only eat once a week because they're cold-blooded they don't have to produce their own heat, they just steal it from a sunny rock. Makes sense. Fortunately we humans have to eat comparatively A LOT in order to keep our temperatures at 98.6. That means at least 3 opportunities for food-induced pleasure in one day! Happy day!

So, let's cook together and eat together. See ya in the kitchen.

Bahston

Here we are, the city of...Bruins? Paul Revere? John Adams? A massacre?
I should figure out what to call this place. Well, to be perfectly honest we currently reside in Waltham (the city of the Waltham Watch Company) a suburb of Boston. Still, the charms of living within a bigger city are not lost on us.

To be perfectly honest, we did not fall in love with Boston at first sight. It was just this inexplicable feeling of, "We're not East Coasters." A fact we already knew but it was solidified upon our arrival. I can't really tell you what it is because when I stop to think about all the things that make up Boston/Waltham, I have to say we really like them. So...I don't know. What I do know is that I like where we live for the following reasons:

1. The accent. I kind of wish I spoke with a Boston accent. It's just so defiant and specific and bizarre. Where does it come from? Who knows. The other day I was eavesdropping on a phone conversation at the park.
"It's foah-eight-foah. Are ya deaf? Foah-eight-foah! FOAH-EIGHT-FOAH!!! Yeah, yeah, she's heeah."

It was awesome.

2. Waltham is surprisingly multicultural. There is an Indian store, a Halal restaurant, Asian restaurants of all types, a bunch of Salvadorian (pupusas!) places and from what I hear a great taco shop. My mouth is watering just thinking about the tacos.

3. Cultural experiences. If anything, historical. As you can imagine, there is plenty to see in Boston, we've explored a bit of the Freedom Trail and have visited the Children's Museum but there are still a lot of things I want to see. It's nice to have more indoor bad weather options.

So far so good. Bahston is growing on us little by little. We go back to Ithaca as Bruins fans.

Bloginess

Ugh...blogging is such hard work. I hate it. There is so much pressure to upload pictures and use a lot of exclamation marks. Don't even get my started on the cute background. It makes me want to go get my emergency stash of Lay's and Tapatio.

In any case, here I am. Mostly for me than for my faithful bleaders (which I fear I have lost due to my extended hiatus). And I have a plan. Sadly, I cannot tell you my plan - all I can say is it involves food (surprise!). Well, technically I can tell you my plan, I just don't want to because then I'll have to answer questions and talk to people. But I can tell you that you may benefit from it if you choose.

I can feel it in the Boston air. This is going to be the summer that makes me.