I hate doing the dishes. I hate sweeping. I hate mopping. I hate having to clean the table 5 times a day just to do it all over again tomorrow. I hate getting beet stains off the wall. I hate cleaning the mirrors. I hate vacuuming. I hate that the house can't stay clean for more than 5 minutes. I hate that Ellie can't stay clean for more than 5 minutes. I hate that I have taken on every single responsibility of the household. I hate that I'm not in the pottery studio more. I hate that Brandon barely has time for us. I hate that I feel this way.
I hate that I have no answers.
Usually I would write a blog post once I have figured out my little crisis and had come around a new woman, better for having gone through a little crisis. But not today. I'm sure there are answers out there somewhere. My conscience is telling me that if I were less selfish I would probably stop hating all these things and could go on with my life full of love and charity for my family. My memory is telling me that it's not all bad and I actually enjoy the little victories in life that include getting rid of every type of stain known to man. My gut is telling me that when I get down, I should eat something.
And so I shall. We just bought some raw-milk cheddar and fig spread I think I'm going to break into. Also, I think there are raspberries in the fridge.
My father-in-law one day said that there is no real balance in life. Sometimes you have to do stuff you hate all the time and sometimes you get to do a lot of the stuff you love, but rarely is life 50-50. And so it is. Sometimes the mere fact that there is an end in sight, a light at the end of the tunnel has to suffice to get us through the times when we have to do a mountain of dishes for the third time that day. And let's be honest, my tunnels aren't that long.
So. I love my husband and how he makes me laugh. I love the way Ellie claps and waves to herself. I love when Brandon helps Ellie brush her teeth. I love that I'm healthy enough to take care of my family. I love when we sit down for a meal together. I love when we all read together. I love to cook. I love when Ellie goes to bed and Brandon and I can talk or watch a movie in peace. I love having a clean house. I love that Brandon is so grateful for the stuff I do. I love when we all go on hikes or swims. I love spending time in the pottery studio. I love singing in the car with Brandon and Ellie. I love to write. I love my family.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wordpress.
More often than not I say really awesome things such as:
"It's not that they suck, it's that I'm better."
"Why can't everyone be just like me?"
"Greeting, husband" (my sister-in-law's favorite)
To my boss: "Argh, you poopie head!"
And sometimes during arguments I quote 30 Rock to disastrous results. Observe:
B: Nat! You suck!
N:No you suck! And so do all New York based sport teams!
B: What? Argh!!!
I forget what we were arguing about but I had some explaining to do after that, for the original offense and then the 30 Rock quote.
Oh and let's not forget that "Blerg" is now a part of my vocabulary. I love you Liz Lemon.
Brandon - I promise I'll keep the 30 Rock under control.
Anyway here are some recent pictures of Ellie who is at the forefront of keeping me humble. And who doesn't understand 30 Rock. Yet.
When Ellie sees a camera this is what she does. I blame my father in law. She's trying to avoid the flash by shutting her eyes.
Swimming good times.
Bath time hat.
Caught in the act.
"It's not that they suck, it's that I'm better."
"Why can't everyone be just like me?"
"Greeting, husband" (my sister-in-law's favorite)
To my boss: "Argh, you poopie head!"
And sometimes during arguments I quote 30 Rock to disastrous results. Observe:
B: Nat! You suck!
N:No you suck! And so do all New York based sport teams!
B: What? Argh!!!
I forget what we were arguing about but I had some explaining to do after that, for the original offense and then the 30 Rock quote.
Oh and let's not forget that "Blerg" is now a part of my vocabulary. I love you Liz Lemon.
Brandon - I promise I'll keep the 30 Rock under control.
Anyway here are some recent pictures of Ellie who is at the forefront of keeping me humble. And who doesn't understand 30 Rock. Yet.
When Ellie sees a camera this is what she does. I blame my father in law. She's trying to avoid the flash by shutting her eyes.
Swimming good times.
Bath time hat.
Caught in the act. Sunday, July 25, 2010
Ithaca Rising
Ithaca is the best. This place is like my city soulmate. Here is why:
1. Boobies! This place is a teenage boys dream. There are boobs and babies everywhere. People aren't shy about breastfeeding and the only nursing covers I've seen have been in church. I'm kind of sad Ellie isn't nursing anymore, now I have no good excuse to whip my boobs out.
2. So green! Ithaca really is an outdoor lover haven. I haven't loved the outdoors my whole life but I do now and especially in such a beautiful place. So green, so many waterfalls, so many places to hike. So fun.
3. Locavore nation. We've joined an organic vegetable co-op which means we pay a flat fee to get a share of vegetables grown here in Ithaca. Every Wednesday Ellie and I go out to the farm and pick up our fruits and vegetables and then we go out to the fields to pick flowers and herbs. The crops have just started to really kick in so we've been inundated with all sorts of yummy veggies. We've always been healthy eaters but our quality of eating has improved so much since we've joined the CSA. We recently ate at Arby's and felt like we were going to die. We went to the Farmer's Market the next day dying for fresh, just-picked veggies. We're so lucky to live in a city that values a short commute from farm to table.
4. Macro Mamas. These girls are a revelation. They sell macrobiotic dishes at the Farmer's Market and I have to say I'm addicted. It's like eating happiness. I'm seriously considering switching our diet. As soon as we eat all the meat that's in the freezer.
5. Pottery. The Pot Shop at Cornell (hehehe) has helped me discover my inner potter. I've always thought myself artistically inclined and pottery has really helped me get back in touch with that part of myself. I wish I had more time to go work in the studio but with Ellie and Brandon's schedule it's just not as feasible. Some people bring in their tiny babies but Ellie is just too big, I would fear for other people's pieces. Anyhoo, it really is my new favorite thing. Bowls for everyone!
These are just some of the reasons off the top of my head why I truly love living here. Don't be surprised to see me wearing a peasant skirt and dreadlocks next time you see me. I was just asking Brandon the other day how he thought I could get the hippie look down.
Brandon coming to Cornell was one of the best things to have happened to us. Yes, we are sad that our friends and families are far away and there aren't any In 'N' Outs (don't tell the Macro Mamas) but Ithaca has been such a great and inviting place to live that those burdens are lightened. I know the winter is going to be difficult but I look forward to all the new things we're going to discover as the seasons change.
Come visit!
1. Boobies! This place is a teenage boys dream. There are boobs and babies everywhere. People aren't shy about breastfeeding and the only nursing covers I've seen have been in church. I'm kind of sad Ellie isn't nursing anymore, now I have no good excuse to whip my boobs out.
2. So green! Ithaca really is an outdoor lover haven. I haven't loved the outdoors my whole life but I do now and especially in such a beautiful place. So green, so many waterfalls, so many places to hike. So fun.
3. Locavore nation. We've joined an organic vegetable co-op which means we pay a flat fee to get a share of vegetables grown here in Ithaca. Every Wednesday Ellie and I go out to the farm and pick up our fruits and vegetables and then we go out to the fields to pick flowers and herbs. The crops have just started to really kick in so we've been inundated with all sorts of yummy veggies. We've always been healthy eaters but our quality of eating has improved so much since we've joined the CSA. We recently ate at Arby's and felt like we were going to die. We went to the Farmer's Market the next day dying for fresh, just-picked veggies. We're so lucky to live in a city that values a short commute from farm to table.
4. Macro Mamas. These girls are a revelation. They sell macrobiotic dishes at the Farmer's Market and I have to say I'm addicted. It's like eating happiness. I'm seriously considering switching our diet. As soon as we eat all the meat that's in the freezer.
5. Pottery. The Pot Shop at Cornell (hehehe) has helped me discover my inner potter. I've always thought myself artistically inclined and pottery has really helped me get back in touch with that part of myself. I wish I had more time to go work in the studio but with Ellie and Brandon's schedule it's just not as feasible. Some people bring in their tiny babies but Ellie is just too big, I would fear for other people's pieces. Anyhoo, it really is my new favorite thing. Bowls for everyone!
These are just some of the reasons off the top of my head why I truly love living here. Don't be surprised to see me wearing a peasant skirt and dreadlocks next time you see me. I was just asking Brandon the other day how he thought I could get the hippie look down.
Brandon coming to Cornell was one of the best things to have happened to us. Yes, we are sad that our friends and families are far away and there aren't any In 'N' Outs (don't tell the Macro Mamas) but Ithaca has been such a great and inviting place to live that those burdens are lightened. I know the winter is going to be difficult but I look forward to all the new things we're going to discover as the seasons change.
Come visit!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Harold B. Lee Spice
I spent much of my college years in the Harold B. Lee. Or just the "Library" to those of us who went to BYU. I studied there, worked there, and napped there. In fact my job at the Harold B. Lee was probably one of the best of my life. I also stared down people who talked too loud on their cell phones and discovered Brian Regan in the snack area while linked to someone else's iTunes.
So I am happy to present this fitting tribute to the Harold B. Lee.
So I am happy to present this fitting tribute to the Harold B. Lee.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
It has been spoken
B: mumble, mumble, mumble...
N: I'm sorry, what? I didn't get any of that.
B: It has been spoken!
N: I'm sorry, what? I didn't get any of that.
B: It has been spoken!
Glam Shots by Deb
Ellie and I have had some extra time on our hands and decided we should have a photo shoot. A True Birds photo shoot, if you will.
Man down!
Gulp.
Work it...
Muppet face!
Taking a breather.
Can we be done now?
Battle cry!
So gorgeous.
So fierce!
Man down!
Gulp.
Work it...
Muppet face!
Taking a breather.
Can we be done now?
Battle cry!
So gorgeous.Ok, so I'm not the best photographer, and my camera doesn't shoot as fast as I would like, but all that is immaterial when the subject matter is so fetching. Man, I should get an award for making the perfect baby.
Will Seward and the Strawberry Massacre of 2010
That should be a youth lit title.
Anyhoo. As advertised Ellie and I went to William Seward's house in Auburn, NY. So just north of Ithaca. It was really cool. Seward was President Lincolns' Secretary of State and he was governor of New York before that post. He was quite the guy, an ardent abolitionist, a shrewd politician and it sounds like an all around cool dude. There was an assassination attempt on his life at the same time that Lincoln was assassinated and Seward survived but not without some nasty stabs to the face. We've been reading Team of Rivals, a book about Lincoln's cabinet, for book club and a few of us went up to Auburn to take a look at his gorgeous home.
Unfortunately they wouldn't let us take pictures of the inside which I don't understand, it's not like we're going to copy the decor or anything. You'll have to be content with outside pictures. The inside was packed, and I mean packed, with pictures of dignitaries, strange gadgets, and ancient books. Everything in there was original and it had been in the family until 1951 when the last Seward decided to make the house a museum. How cool is that?
In other news, this is what happens when a strawberry crosses Ellie.
Anyhoo. As advertised Ellie and I went to William Seward's house in Auburn, NY. So just north of Ithaca. It was really cool. Seward was President Lincolns' Secretary of State and he was governor of New York before that post. He was quite the guy, an ardent abolitionist, a shrewd politician and it sounds like an all around cool dude. There was an assassination attempt on his life at the same time that Lincoln was assassinated and Seward survived but not without some nasty stabs to the face. We've been reading Team of Rivals, a book about Lincoln's cabinet, for book club and a few of us went up to Auburn to take a look at his gorgeous home.
Unfortunately they wouldn't let us take pictures of the inside which I don't understand, it's not like we're going to copy the decor or anything. You'll have to be content with outside pictures. The inside was packed, and I mean packed, with pictures of dignitaries, strange gadgets, and ancient books. Everything in there was original and it had been in the family until 1951 when the last Seward decided to make the house a museum. How cool is that?
In other news, this is what happens when a strawberry crosses Ellie.
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