Bad Food

Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers, and Applebee's. I spit on you.

It's really my own fault. I should have known better than to listen to the TV, but being a student of advertising I was drawn in by the Lean Cuisine/Healthy Choice ads and gave them the benefit of the doubt, same with Applebee's. Most of the time companies take great care in living up to their ads, but I was wrong this time.
Oh. The Horror.

What was I thinking? Why would I go against my gut, you ask? Well, out of desperation. A lot of our leftovers go to Brandon's lunch and I was caught lunch-less two days in a row on my way to work. So I hopped over to Von's for a frozen lunch special of 2/$3. I got pasta both days since I thought pasta would be hard to mess up, and I was wrong! The pasta was overcooked, the chicken was dry, the sauce was slimy. I, a representative of the ever-hungry-minded, had to force them down with a water shooter and an orange.

And! If that wasn't enough we went to Applebee's this weekend. That was no one's fault, we had a gift card and decided to use it.
I'm not trying to be a snob, I'm really not. I will eat anywhere and anything as long as it's good. Ask Brandon. We've cruised downtown Salt Lake looking for authentic tacos braving the cold and salmonella. We've braved scary neighborhoods, microbes, unsafe restaurant structures, and language barriers. One time we feared for our lives at the hands of a mentally distressed vagabond that sauntered into a restaurant. But the food was good! It made us feel warm and fuzzy. Applebee's made us feel depressed and I left there with a headache. The food tasted fattening (one thing is to "taste" and another thing is to "be". "Being" fattening is acceptable as long as you don't "taste" it.) and drab. Bleak, if you will. If the food we ate at Applebee's had a color it would be tan. I hate tan. I forever denounce tan.

I do have to say that something good has come out of this hideous experience. Brandon has crossed over to the light. He too kept ranting about the food at Applebee's and how dare they disguise themselves as an eating establishment.

I guess what I'm getting at is a word to the wise: Do not go Applebee's and do not eat frozen lunches (I don't care what brand). Take time to make something or take time to research a Mom 'n' Pop place. You'll be glad you did, even if you're nursing an aching tummy later.